5 Most Bizarre Cocktails Ever

How desperate are you to get wasted this weekend? Enough to drink a toe? Gulp down snake bile? Probably not. I’ll just take a nice, normal beer, thank you. The weirdest booze most of us have ever tried is maybe Butterscotch Vodka. Or maybe—maybe—a worm-infested shot of Tequila. But here are 7 cocktail recipes that actually exist for people to drink. They’re odd, they’re gross, and they’re never going in my mouth. Oh, and if you’re an alcoholic struggling with sobriety, this should help.

The Sourtoe Cocktail: You wanna toe? I can get you a toe. It’s right in this drink. Yep, the legendary “Sourtoe Cocktail” is served with Champagne and garnished with a real human toe. It’s served at the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City, Yukon. You can become a member of the “Sourtoe Cocktail Club” but making sure the toe touches your mouth at some point while you’re drinking. I’m good, thanks.

The tradition started in 1973, when a guy named Captain Dick Stevenson bought a cabin near Dawson County that for some reason, housed the pickled remains of the previous tenant’s toe in a bottle of rum. As the legend goes, Stevenson paid people to come drink it.

You would think that nowadays, the bar has to go to great lengths and sign a bunch of certificates and whatever to get their toes. But no, people just donate them. Dozens of toes have been donated.

On a side note, this is how bored Canadians are. Even drinking alone can’t entertain them anymore. It has to be drinking with a severed human appendage.

Tequila Snake Shots: The recipe calls for two things: cheap tequila and a snake. At least it’s easy.

You’re supposed to drown a live snake into a bottle of tequila. When it dies, it emits some kind of weird chemical that supposedly has all these medicinal properties that will cure your headaches or whatever. After the snake is drowned, you take it out, skin it, gut it and then put it back into the bottle to age for a year before you drink it.

Or, you can just take a Bayer.

Pizza Beer: It’s not just pizza-flavored beer. It’s an actual pizza brewed with the beer. The company, Mamma Mia! Pizza Beer, takes a real Margherita pizza and steeps it in the beer mixture like a tea bag. They strain it several times to make sure there are no pieces that end up in the beer. Why eat your food when you can drink it and get drunk?

Pig Placenta Cocktail: Yeah, I was gonna put this one in after the snake one, but I thought I’d give you a chance to regain your composure. What a surprise, this drink is from Japan. The same country that brings you used underwear in a vending machine.

The drink is called Placenta 10000, and I don’t care how many zeros they add, it’s not going to make me forget that the name starts with the word placenta. It’s supposed to be really healthy and fight the signs of aging. Mixing it with alcohol is supposed to heighten its benefits.

Lizard Wine: This wine is prepared in a pretty similar way to Tequila Snake Shots—drowning a reptile in alcohol and then drinking it like a caveman.

Hejie Jiu is considered one of China’s strongest alcoholic beverages but it’s also said to cure cancer, arthritis and ulcers. Any lizard’ll do, but the most common is the gecko.